Nail jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?

The baby you just feed nails to.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten!

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!

Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?

A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

What is Jesus' favorite gun?

A nail gun.