My Jokes

My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT

I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...

But now I don't know what to do with the letters.

My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

I won't reply on every jokes today because I want to say thanks (to everyone) for making funny jokes here... Every time I have a bad day (almost everyday), I always go here and read relatable jokes, its makes me happy and its making me less anxious. I am really stressed on my school works and everything, I feel that I'm being left alone. Everyone compares me to others and all I can do is listen. I don't get enough sleep because of it... Reading these jokes entertain me and making me laugh so hard. *I apologize for my grammar

I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

If depression is going to be my girlfriend. Will she leave me?

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

I comforted my friend about his wife’s death: until I found out who did it.

My penis was in the Guinness book of world records. -- Then the librarian told me to take it out.

the last thing i told my ex after we broke up was “at least we’re still cousins”😂

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said "i am still choosing" she looked horrified

so i was on the phone with a scam caller, he said he knew where i lived and would kill my children and wife jokes on him i already did.