My jokes

I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.

SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!

"Sing in music lesson"

"I want to die, I want to die, I want to choke myself, break my neck and die."

My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.

A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."

I like my women thick, so if they aren't over 375 pounds, they're not stepping into my room.

My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.

Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!

What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?

They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”

What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"

101 pedo jokes.

Why's everything x2, need to get this shit dick off before the coppers come, it's called women taking advantage, you'll shit the bitcoin, 90% percent of pedo's who don't admit they're like kids blame the police, shit your kappas, you only want my veins why don't you inject me with smack, run in with ya black armbands, I've been sized for a million pound, stop giving me strain asking questions, I know what's going to happen next, bet the judge is a women, jealous coz your drink tastes like shit?

Is it coz your shit though? How many bids have you done? Shit 1 million views, don't try bribe me, did the police give me snip? How's my barbie doll or shall I say my little pony? The police beat fuck outta me, what's all these needle marks on my arm, I can tell you want something, why's everything like one big cycle, police own the dark web.

Keep it going on lol.

My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.

My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.

What do you call my IP? 74.125.224.72 hahahahahahahahaha

Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.

I wanted to get brain surgery.

I changed my mind.

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?

I care when my computer crashes.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.

What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?

My dick.