Inmate 1: Why are you in prison?
Inmate 2: I killed 4 people and robbed someone, what about you?
Inmate 1: I blew up a school bus.
Inmate 2: OMG, you demon! Were they autistic?
Inmate 1: No, they were Fortnite kids.
Inmate 2 (who is Muslim): Halelouia, we have found the messiah!
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems
(Said in a Scottish accent). Amaffmaheed
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel? 😁
The Christian, the Buddhist, and the Muslim each go on a separate plane. The Christian and the Buddhists flight goes well but the muslims plane has a problem and crashes into 2 towers.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
The phrase “Muslim women live in one of the hottest countries in the world and they can’t even expose their legs” has two meanings.
