Muslim jokes
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel?
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
What do you call a Scottish Muslim with drug problems?
(Said in a Scottish accent) "Amaffmaheed."
What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.
A girl is meeting this Muslim for a date, and she asks him, "So are you Indian?"
And the Muslim goes, "No, bitch, I ain't 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11!"
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
What's the slogan for a Muslim gym?
Might in dynamite.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
You think on a airplane when a muslim guy gets on, people look at him and think... "Aw, fuck."
Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.
What is another word for Arab man who is a Palestinian Muslim?
Palestinian masseur.
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
Muslim religion is just pregnant women saying "Allahu Akbar" and exploding a bus.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.