Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
Americans don't like playing chess with Muslims; last time they did play, they ended up losing two towers.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.
I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
"You're the bomb"—a compliment in the USA.
An argument in the Middle East.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What do you call a muslim flying a plane... A pilot
Muslim furries like goats.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
