Music jokes

What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?

You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."

Yeah yeah.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?

Spaghett-hehe.

FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS

Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.

Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.

Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.

Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.

Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.

Oh God By Dixie Rect.

Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.

Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.

Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.

How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.

Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.

The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.

People: You're ugly.

Me: Ok.

People: I hate you.

Me: Cool, IDC.

People: You're annoying.

Me: Good for me.

People: BTS is dumb.

Me: I'll give you 5 seconds to run!

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

What is Jesus' favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

- Dude, what is your favorite rapper?

- He is very cold-blooded.

- Why?

- He is Ice Cube.

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

What is the difference between 9/11 and rickrolling?

The Twin Towers gave up and let down.

What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?

A pee-ano/piano.

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?

Poker face.

"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass."

Want to know what Juice WRLD would do if he were alive today?

Frantically scratch on the inside of his coffin.

I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. I see the world through eyes covered in ink and bleach. Cross out the ones who heard my cries and watched me weep. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

Tape my eyes open to force reality (oh no, no). Why can't you just let me eat my weight in glee? I live inside my own world of make-believe. Kids screaming in their cradles, profanities. Some days I feel skinnier than all the other days, And some days I can't tell if my body belongs to me. I love everything. Fire's spreading all around my room. My world's so bright. It's hard to breathe, but that's alright. Hush, shh.

I wanna taste your content. Hold your breath and feel the tension. Devils hide behind redemption. Honesty is a one-way gate to hell. I wanna taste consumption. Breathe faster to waste oxygen. Hear the children sing aloud. It's music 'til the wick burns out. Hush.

Just wanna be carefree lately, yeah. Just kicking up daisies. Got one too many quarters in my pockets. Count 'em like the four-leaf clovers in my locket. Untied laces, yeah. Just tripping on daydreams. Got dirty little lullabies playing on repeat. Might as well just rot around the nursery and count sheep.

What song did Michael Jackson come up with after his first sleepover with the kid?

"Just Beat It."

What was Michael Jackson's favorite word to say to parents and tabloids? "Leave me alone."