What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Music Jokes
Why do violists stand for long periods outside of people's houses? They can't find the key and don't know when to come in.
Why do violists smile when they play? Because ignorance is bliss, and they don't know what can't hurt them.
Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?
A: Don't leave me hanging!
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
Why did the prisoner run away?
To spit bars.
Why do emos love the winter? Because of the long sleeves.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!
Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...
The dark side of kid songs:
You got a friend in me... you got a friend in me!
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
What does a disabled disco play?
"When your legs don’t work like they used to before."
What's Michael Jackson's nickname?
Nivea black and white.
What is a vegetarian's favorite song?
No beef.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
