Mother jokes
Dad: Alive.
Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).
Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.
Mother: Alive...
Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
Once you've had the mother,
Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"