Mother jokes

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Why are there only 362 days in an orphan's calendar? They don’t have Father's Day, Mother's Day, or Family Day.

Why do orphans love McDonald's?

Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.

Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"

His mother replies, "The stork brings them."

Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

Tell world's best yo mama joke to an orphan, then watch them cry.

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.

My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.

My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.

Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.

The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.

What did the mom say to the baby?

My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.

Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"

The boy said, "No, I don't know."

She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"

The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"

She said to him, "No, who is she?"

He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."

The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.