Mother jokes
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
Mama milky?
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, I'm just a burden.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.