Mother jokes
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"
Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.
What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?
She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
Mama milky?
Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?
Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?
A girlfriend likes a bad boy.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
1273. My mother does not love me, nor does anyone, and my family doesn't either.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.