Mother jokes

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".

"Go frick a cow!"

"I already fricked your mother."

Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?

They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Never got a mother's love, lol.

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Yo momma's an ICE agent!

Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.

About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."

Mom asked, "Why?"

Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."

Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.

I forgot to tell Alicia I saw her mom a couple days ago.

In a porn video!