Mother jokes

Kris

Damn this shit!

Megan Thee Stallion: What!

Kris: My mother is a fucker!

The whole world:

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

As soon as I saw your mom, my Premature Ejaculation went off.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."

Spy: Hahaha.

Me: What?

Spy: Time to pick up your mother.

Me: Oh no....

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

Mama milky?

Peter: Curses!

Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Peter: *Crying*

Jacob: Why are you crying?

Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*

Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.