Mother jokes

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Your momma so slutty, she got banned from Heavy-R.

Yo mama is so fat that even CaseOh couldn't bang her.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

How does a hillbilly mother know when her daughter is on her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood.

Dad: Alive.

Brother: Orphan (fault=Mother).

Me: Dead on the inside but sadly alive.

Mother: Alive...

Wait a minute... I thought you were dead, Mom... Right, you're dead to me at least.

I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.

Are you a marry, because you are my mother?

Mama milky?

Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.