Mother jokes

Your sister is your mother.

Your father is your brother.

You all shag one another.

The Inbred family.

Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.

POV: You're an orphan.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not your mom.

Your mom #69.

Joe mama's so hairy when she went to the movie theater, the people thought she was Chewbacca!

Yo mama!

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?

I really hit the mother lode with you!

What did the hermit crabs do on Mother's Day?

They shellabrated their mommy.

An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"

Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”

SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"

Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"

Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...

My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."

When a white person says the n word,

black people: "Y'all mother fu...rs ain't gonna believe dis shit."

I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.

That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.

An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.

I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.

Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.

What did the cow say to your mom?

Hello.

Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.