Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother. Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was your mother.”
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room
The present: Laundry
*gunshot*
According to a recent poll, your mother said, "I like the guy who saw the guy who doesn't have a brain."
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
We thought that my mother died in the best was possible, during her sleep. But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: mom next year for the carnival can I dress up as a princess? the mother replies: why? you don't like the ice lolly dress from the last year?
jack and jill went down to hell to fetch ur mothers bladder her bladder broke u two are soaked and now u have a daughter cuz in that bladder was me
Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,
"Who named you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself, she answered.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.
‘BJ Titsngolf’
What did the racist cod player say to yo mama?
132.513.531.332
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie looking out of the kitchen window "I know," said her mother "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
Yesterday a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
why do orphan love mcdonalds
because the initials is like mother and father
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
joe mama is joe mama (you're mother) lMAO
ur mother
What is a orphans least favorite show: “how I met your mother”
My mother said to be positive, but she said that when i was going to do an AIDS test
mum: why are roses red? child: stop, mum, you never make jokes. mum: i made you.
