Mother Jokes

POV: Wine Taster in hell

I was, sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. this silhouette begins to speak, "you have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. how do you plead?" the man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit. "guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like I will take any punishment you deem fit." very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request." out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. the boy says "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." the boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, Taste like chicken."

So i was in school and the was number saying 696969 so i said to my mother what dose. It mean she said, YOUR FUCKING DAD AND I

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday God being a sniper is so fun

I read the joke "what we breath is called oxygen,that is African food" to my African friend,but he is breathing in tears from his mother dying of hunger...

never got a mothers love lol

wtas aenergy drink orphans nevver tried ''mother''

If you've spent less time inside your mother that you father has, you just might be from Alabama!

Why are there only 363 days in an orphans calendar They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day

The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.

One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”

“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”

“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish

When you were born your mother said, oh what a treasure, your father said, yeah let’s go burry it

What’s the difference between a mother and a girlfriend?

A girlfriend likes a bad boy

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, im just a burden.

I took my mother in law out today...

I love being a sniper...