Morbid Jokes

That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside

What do you call a snail without a shell? Dead

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

why do orphans play GTA. Cause they wanna feel wanted

I once saw a one handed man in a second hand store. I said to him: "i don't think they have what you're looking for sir"

I only believe in 12.5% of the bible. I'm an EIGTHeyist

What is burned dark and glued to the wall? A bad electrician

What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

What is the pedofiles favorite shoe?

White vans

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent he just uses the force.

"I hate when people make 911 jokes because my grandfather died during the twin tower attacks, he was the best pilot in saudi arabia"

I was making vegetable soup yesterday but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit

A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.