Morbid jokes
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
Why does God hate me?
Because I'm a gay minority who fights for women's rights.
when the sus.
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Wanna hear a joke? You.
A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.
The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"
He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.
Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
You'll end up DEAD if you don't stop COFFIN!!!
Beau Ruse is Gay.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
Your mother.