Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Grandpa

I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.

Dog

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Basement

Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol

Brunette

So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?

The blond because she had to ask for directions.

Age

Have you ever been eight before?

You were between 7 and 9.

Swing

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not Sarah.