Morbid jokes
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
My life.
Okay, so basically I'm monky.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
Two nuns in a bath.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
I named my dog Chicken.
I love eating chicken.
"GWEN, can you help me? There's some person messing with me. There name is JADSA, something like that. Look for a joke named Jayden."
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
What’s the similarity between a penis and a lollipop?
Kids can take both.
John saw a Gay in a wheelchair.
"I didn't know a man could be a fruit and a Vegetable!"
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
Shia Mehdi unlived by beard guy looooool 🤨
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center.
If you're serious, congratulations on getting this far in life with absolutely no comprehension of reality.
If you had this kind of knowledge about driving a car, you'd be sitting 30 feet away from it, throwing pieces of pickles at a barn and shouting ‘shazam’ into an empty iPhone case, wondering why the car wasn't moving.