Morbid jokes
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why is 1 equal to 22?
4 is too busy and one has the 21s to 4!
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
Hi, I'm cool.
My name is Jafar. I come from afar. There's a bomb in my car. Allahu Akbar!
Q: What did I find on my son's search history?
A: Where is the nearest gun shop?
My friends.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
Why did the chicken ride across town? Because he was being taken to Tyson.
9/11.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
What's the difference between calling someone dad or daddy? How you come from his balls.
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
I love my family when they're buried alive.