Morbid jokes
"Peppa's ribs."
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
I’ve been told I’ve got a perfect cock. She sure was hard on me when I cut it off, though.
I KNOW IT'S MARCH, BUT I THOUGHT OF THIS!
Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL!
I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
Why was the broom late? Because it had overslept.