Morbid jokes
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
If you're a girl, please comment.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
How do you poop?
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"