How many babys does it take to paint a wall red. Depends how hard you can throw them.

you suck

I’ll never forget my grandpas last words to me…

“Are you still holding the ladder??”

jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke

Kid starts shortcoming people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”

Where did the chef put the disease?

In Ebola

cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancercancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancercancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancercancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas? I dont know, she’s still trying to open it…

I hit my friend. He dead now

That moment when you realise you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway

Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a viagra, Jill was drunk fell to her knee, Jack had his chance did Jill till 3

When I was in highschool, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome. We would get into a circle around her and say “nightmare nightmare”

knock knock whos ther boo boo who dont cri its just a joke

i am cool

hahahahahahaha

My wieners small

A man with a gun and a sword walks into a bar, sees a girl, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, you are one beautiful girl. Will You be my girlfriend? Girl: No, because you have a gun and a sword. Man: But I am already in love with you. And then the man leaves to get the girl flowers and candy. The girl is glad that the has gone, until thirty minutes later, when he shows up again. Man: Here are some flowers for you, beautiful girl. And the girl throws the flowers in his face, and then everyone in the bar laughs, even the bartender. Man: And here is some candy. And the girl throws the candy in his face, and everyone in the bar laughs again, and some teenagers walking down the street see it as well, and then they start laughing too. One of the teenagers says "Hahaha, that is so funny. Seeing a man give a girl candy, and the girl throwing it in his face to show him that she hates him." Girl: I hate you, ugly man! Man: Bartender, can I get some candy for my girl? The bartender laughs when he hears that, and then he says "Are you crazy? We don’t serve-" And then the man shoots the bartender with his gun, and stabs him with his sword. An old man walking down the street can’t believe what he just saw. So he calls the police to arrest the man who killed the bartender. 999 Service Guy: 999, what’s your emergency? Old man: I just walked past a bar, and I saw a man shoot and stab the bartender. Can you please get the police to arrest him? Tell them he is the man with a gun and a sword I his bag. 999 Service Guy: Okay, no worries. 1 Hour later, the first man tries to dance the tango with the girl, and the girl kicks him in the leg, and then he tries to kiss her, and she punches him in the face. Guy sitting at a table in the bar: That man is crazy. Trying to kiss a girl who hates him. And the police show up. First Policeman: Which man has a gun and a sword in his bag? The girl points to the man and says "This man." Second Policeman: Let’s arrest him. Man: No, wait! I can explain. Third Policeman: Get in the back of the car. When the police get to the Police Station with the man, the first policeman says "You will stay in prison for 10 years." One week later, the man breaks the bars and escapes prison. The police see him and run after him. Third Policeman: Come back here! The man doesn’t listen, and he keeps running. So the police shoot him and he dies. And instead of saying rest in peace on his gravestone, it says rest in pieces.

your mom

YOUR MOTHER

Here in I hop, we serve pancakes not pie cakes if so we can always bring in a chart that will Power the customer, his smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word surely.

my life get it cause i dont got one

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