Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

I love fire. My friends love it too. When I set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

  • 0

    • A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

    Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

    Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

    Patient: "What condition?"

  • 2

    • What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

    I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

  • 0

    • When the teacher calls on you and asks you how many people did Hitler kill?

    "One, he killed himself."

  • 3

    • What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

    This would be much better if you were alive.

  • 7

    • What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

    I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

  • 5

    • Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.