Mom's jokes
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Your mom uses the equator as a belt.
Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.
I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
The thing my mom birthed.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
My mom is telling me to get off Friday Night Funkin' or she will slam my head against the keyboard: weherhrqqkh[qokqho[krq3[t4i2-4q43q343q44334q43.
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Listen, if my mom sees me on Roblox at 3 a.m., she said she would bang my head against the keyboardndfndfnnckvnksdvknkdsfnvbfw.
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
My mom said that being straight is good, but if you're straight, how do you walk? So I decided to be gay.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”