Mom's jokes
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your mom.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
The thing my mom birthed.
In America, mom births you.
In Soviet Russia, you birth mom.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
Orphanage kid: You’re ugly!
Kid with mother: Your mom!
Why are you so fat? I bet you take after your mom more.
I accidentally said, "Go cry to your mom," to an orphan. 😭
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*