Mom's jokes

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.

So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

So you mom call she side when Covin come home?

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

At weddings my mom always tells me I’m next. So I say the same to her, at funerals.

Your mom is so hairy that King Kong got jealous of her.

What does the mom (or terrorists, fuck that) say for the (twin) towers to eat?

Open wide, here comes the plane!

Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?

What do a banana and shampoo have in common?

Ur mom.

Why did your mom cross the road?

You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.

The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.