Mom's jokes
In response to a buddy saying they joined a golf club:
"Jfc, you’ve gone softer than your old man’s dick after your mom suggests a romantic night in! I swear to God you’re so fucking bougie."
(Pause)
"Oh, I forgot to tell you, while you were gone I got a weird call for you... Some Jeff guy? Said something about a loan..."
"Jeff who?"
"Bezos."
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
Trump's mom.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
What do you call a boy in your mom?
Your dad.
Memes
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.
Ur mom so stupid that she thought that Seventeen has four ghost members.
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
Lol, this joke may not be funny, but what do you call your mom fat and emo?
"If you're good at something, never do it for free."
Rapboat's mom charges $5 a blowie.
What did Rapboat's mom say to Rapboat?
"Is it in yet?"
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Your mom is so fat, she starts the alphabet with the letter "o" for obesity, hahaha!
Your mom is so ugly that she made a mirror shatter.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Your mom is so ugly that she uses Snapchat filters to make her pretty.
Why'd the Titanic sink? Because your mom was still on it!
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!