Mom's jokes
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
Your mom.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
The earth was flat until they buried your mom.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
You know what’s traumatizing?
Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.
Help!
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."