Mom's jokes
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.