Mom's jokes
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your mom is so ugly she made a blind kid cry.
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
Memes
Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!
My friend's mom: Why you bully me?
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.
Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
How come orphans know how to do laundry?
Cause that's usually the mom's job.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Mom: Let's have an adoption party!
Kid: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong?
Kid: I'M ADOPTED????