Mom's jokes
Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.
Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”
“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”
Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.
Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.
Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.
Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your mom is so fat, that burger.
If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.
Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.
Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?
Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because his mom and dad are in every episode!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
I asked my mom what her biggest regret was for a project at school, and she said, "Oh, go look in the bathroom above the sink..." There was a mirror.
Your mom is as fat as NASA's company.