Mom's jokes

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

What are three things the Twin Towers have in common with my dad? They are big, sexy, and smashed your mom.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

Yesterday my mom forgot to go grocery shopping, and I was starving, so I kept opening the fridge about 100 times, but nothing new was in there.

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!

Your mom's so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Your mom.

My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!

Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Me: "Cya"

Mom: "Where ya going?"

Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."

Mum: ...