Mom's jokes

What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?

Your mom can't take a joke.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

Why do orphans cry alone?

They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

The emo kid's mom went to jail because the kid was hung.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

The earth was flat until they buried your mom.

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Your mom.

Me when the your, uh, uhhhh, when your me when the your, uhhh, uhhhhh, mom.

If mom saw you, she would die and be happy because of you being ugly.