Mom's jokes
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
Ur mom gay.
I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?
One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.
Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.
Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.
Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
Ur mom. (Idk, I'm bored.)
When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"
Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.