Mom's jokes

Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.

A son asked his mom: "Why are the lines in the LGBTQ community flag straight?"

Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?

If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.

So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅

The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.

Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.

The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.

Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.

The person I hate: Rood.

Me: Shut up.

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?

Answer: Because his mom is a whore!

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.

My bully: Your face is ugly.

Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.

My bully: :(

My mom told me to clean the sink, but I couldn’t find you.

Your mom is so ugly even Shrek ran away from her.

Your mom is so fat, it takes a year to turn around.

Why is your mom ugly, bozo?

I was born on the moon.

Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

How do you get an orphan sad?

You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.