Momma jokes
Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.
Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Yo momma's so stupid, she took a shower for 20 minutes after she heard a DIRTY JOKE!
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.
Yo momma so fat, she tried to eat a pie chart.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
Yo momma so fat, her four kids use her as a bed and her fat rolls as cozy blankets.
Yo momma so slutty, she could use a tank truck as a dildo.
Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Yo momma so fat that she could fit the entire map of the world on her body.
Yo momma is so fat, when she fell I was not laughing, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Yo momma so fat, I took a photo of her last year and it's still printing.