Antique jokes

What do you call a 90-year-old black man?

Antique farming equipment.

What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.

What do you call a group of black people in a shed?

Antique farm equipment.

Your momma is so old, when she went to the antique store, they wouldn't let her leave.

Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

when you use ancestry.com instead of tinder.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.