Antique

Antique jokes

Mom

3 views ·

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

Mama

10 views ·

Yo mama is so short, Minions look down at her.

Yo mama is so fat that she volunteered for the Hunger Games 'cause she thought it was an eating competition.

Yo mama is so ugly when Santa Claus saw her, he yelled "Ho Ho Holy Sh*t!"

Yo mama is so old, when she walked into an antique store, they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama is so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.

Garden

825 views ·

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

Mp3

39 views ·

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Childhood

2685 views ·

My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is, until my mom took the urn away from me.