What do u get when I get mixed with coffee? De-presso
A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender “give me 2 beers”. The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guys beers bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender “hey what are u doing I didn’t order for bud lights I want corona beer”. The bartender replies “ sir I gave you a mix of bud light and corona and it’s on the house everyone is drinking corona tonight”.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closest. Being a Pedo. When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
I love little mix
Yo mama so fat, she got mixed up with Godzilla
What name do you get if you mix the names chris and Marisa? Then you get the name chrisa
What happens if you mix the two names Shannon and Stephanie? You have the name Shanny
Why are eggs bad at puns? They always mix up their yokes!
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail-mix. I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut
what do you get when you mix up a group of emos??
Suicide squad
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said “you’ve got to be yolking me”
Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature -- Tequila Mockingbird
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while bieng at work was and i replied " being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers"
3 cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says ́ ́ I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands ́ ́
Cowboy 2 says ́ ́ I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb ́ ́
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial retarded kids?Mixed vegetables.
What happens if u mix a dick with a potato? U get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato
When you mix a wizard, a rabbit, and a songwriter together, you get 24 carrot magic.
Did you hear how Steven Hawkins Died? There was a mix up and he was dropped at pc world instead of A&E!
