Misidentification jokes

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"

The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

I got sent out of a library for putting a women's rights book in the fiction section.

You got a dig bick.

You read that wrong.

You read that wrong too.

Maybe you read that wrong as well.

You just went and back-checked.

You reread all of that.

You have a pet wussy.

You read that wrong...

You need mental help.