Misidentification jokes

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

How can you tell Donald Trump is old and demented?

He can't distinguish between tanned people and cockroaches!

How to kill a blind person.

Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.

I was given my electronics test today. Turns out it was given to me 'cause I have the same name as someone who got 54/59. I actually got my hopes up, too.

When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.

FUCKING MENT

A girl had black hair. Also, I threw rubbish at her to realize she wasn't a bin.

You know what's so horrible about this website?

When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.

I went to the store and I saw a kid with fake airpods, and I was going to tell him, "Nice fake airpods," but it was his hearing aids.

So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."

The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."

The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"

The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.