Misery

Misery jokes

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.