Misery jokes

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?

Because I am one.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.

Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.

I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.

"Like if u cry everytime."

What do you do when you're sad?

Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[

What's the difference between school and Hell?

There is no difference.

For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.

Me: I have depression.

Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!

Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?

Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.

My life is the joke.

Life sucks, and so does the vacuum, and other things.

The second worst thing to happen to these orphans!

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

What game do emo kids hate the most?

Life.

Person: What's your perfect date look like?

Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.

You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.