Misery jokes
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
I have a funny joke: my life.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[
I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck. I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born.
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
What's the difference between life and death? Life hurts.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.