Misery jokes
What's the similarity between your money and your life?
It just keeps going down.
My life is like a grenade... I pull off the ring and, BOOM, it explodes!
Want to hear a joke? My life.
Imagine being an orphan. *kid beside me crying*
I wish I was dead like my jokes.
I will tell you a joke--your life.
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
For me, the best part of depression is remaining charming around strangers but saving the misery for the ones who love you.
A: Who can tell me a joke?
B: Life.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
What's worse than 10 babies is one dumpster...
1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
I have no life, and I have no funny jokes.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you just finish me off already?
Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.