Miscellaneous jokes
Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
I like my coffee like I like my women.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
Miss Stephen likes kids like she likes wine: 15 years and in isolation.
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
What's black, long and full of seamen?
A submarine.
My mom said that I don't listen to homophones, but then I said, "No, I listen to headphones."
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What is you you?
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Me.
The joke is as short as me.