Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay they would be called bagels.
I moved all the bibles to the fiction section because there is no god as said Stephen Hawking in 2011 but in 2018 god said there was no Stephen Hawking
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
a conductor was conducting a song, at the end he through his conductor's stick and killed someone, he was put to the electric chair but nothing happened, they asked why he didn't die and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor"
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?" Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that he just found out his sister was cheating on him.
My syndrome may be down but my hopes are up !
I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible.
So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
An Irishman walked past a bar.
Whats brown and sticky - a stick
Me: *looks at persons hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Once a mustang always a mustang-mr Shaw
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
