What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the guts.
why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
An Irishman walked past a bar.
They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
I bought the worlds worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, its terrible.
Whats brown and sticky - a stick
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Do you know how Diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
How did I know where you would go next? Oh I felt it in my bones!
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker? Hop in!
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colours.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told the 911 that I was mugged
What do you get when you cross a pediphile and an elementary school? Predator 3
play dead they said wasn't to hard I've been dead inside for years
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
2 scientists walk into a bar, the first one says "can I have a drink of H2O?" then the second says"can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My heart is like a plane. It crashes every once in a while.
