Miscellaneous jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Abajo. Abajo who? I have abajo of water with me.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill you?
A pool table.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
My friends.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
What did the diver say when he was trapped in seaweed?
- Kelp!
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What is the difference between a dog and a cat?
I don't know either.
Why do you think I asked you? ;)
Your face.
How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?
Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
"Bippity Bobbity Boo, Boo Radley is coming for you!"