Miscellaneous jokes
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
From the wise words of my friend, "You ain't a man 'til you had a man."
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
Miss Stephen likes sex like she likes kids.
On a desk in pure isolation.
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
My dad is a pussy.
My favorite instrument? The TromBONE, of course.
You suck.
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
What is the difference between a man peering through the key hole and a woman in the bath?
One is rude and nosy; the other is rude and nosy.
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher? Because there was no chemistry...
Who is the biggest slut in the world? Ms. Pacman, because you give her 25 cents and she swallows balls until she dies.