Miscellaneous jokes
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
A single sentence walks into a bar.
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
You wanna hear a joke? You.
Why do I carry pepper spray?
Just in case of as-SAULT.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
Kevin Woody (look him up)
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What is the difference between a snowman and a snow girl?
Snowballs.
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.