My dog used to chase people on a bike alot. It got so bad,I finally had to take his bike away.
When does a skeleton laugh? When someone tickles his funny bone!
I hate 2 faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is "the stupidest country in the world." -- Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
Q What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car
A Carlos
how to make time fly
answer throw a clock out of the window
What did the skeleton said to the genderless child? you're fucking dead mate
Mom: you need to grow up. your so immature
Me: *glares* get out of my castle ....
Mom: it's a pillow fort
Me: why cant i have an imagination!?
Mom: your almost 19 years old
Me: not good enough ... OUT!
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q:What do women and kfc have in common A:once you eat the breasts and thighs all you have left is a greasey box to put ur bone in
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
My Sex Life
What do you call a midget that waves. A microwave
My bumper sticker says:👋FORMER BABY ON BOARD
Velcro is such a rip-off
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always comeback
Arsenal
Wanna hear a joke?
me
