They said time heals all wounds, well I broke your watch.
I like wine how I like my woman. 4 year old locked in a basement.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
My sex life.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
my class is my house is quite I suck a dick now one cares
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
Why did Bob Ross die
Because the paint brush stabbed him
Shyneyngsngneg sngengenetntwnga giulgekgengjsg genegngmtentwnnwgbgw.
How do you poop?
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime? They were always using pyramid schemes!!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor?
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
