Miscellaneous jokes
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
Oof, you're gay!
Your mom gay.
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
My heart is like a plane.
It crashes every once in a while.
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?
My dad.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why can’t moons walk?
'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!
Your family.