Miscellaneous jokes
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Sixteen Sodium particles walk into a bar, followed by Batman.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
So, the sea is on a computer but doesn't know how to search, so the computer said to the sea, "Search!"
Do you get it? SEArch.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Puzzle
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.