Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous jokes

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So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

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    • I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.

    What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!

    What do you do when your dishwasher breaks down?

    You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

    What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?

    A quack head!

    My mom must be a duck then...

    So, about a year ago I was riding a horse, and out of nowhere the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off. I would have been OK, but my foot got stuck in the stirrup. The horse dragged me along and didn't stop.

    I would have died if it weren't for the Walmart manager who came out and unplugged the horse.

    What do you call a fish with no legs?

    Fsh have no legs.

    What do you do with legs?

    Fsh have no legs.

    What do you do with legs?

    Break!