Miscellaneous jokes
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
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Yes.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well?
A: Because he couldn't see that well.
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.