Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sally fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sully fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her
what happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking? he says oh fuck fuck fuck
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
how many babies does it take to paint a room red. depends how hard you throw em.
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
What did one tree say to the tree that was a bully? "LEAF me alone."
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yes.
who are the fastest readers in the world. the 911 victims they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds
Q: Why did the blind man fall into the well
A: because he couldn't see that well
Kid: “What happened to Dad?”
Mom: “He flew into the Twin Towers.”
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people? What’s up.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
You wanna hear a joke? It’s YOU.
