Mind jokes
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
I had something about tripping over ice.
Well, it slipped my mind, so I'll just test some diamonds to see if they're ice.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
What’s the difference between an LGBTQ and brain cells?
Brain cells make up their mind.
All these jokes really hijacking my mind.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.