What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette, and one's mind will be blown away.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
You've realized I exist? Huh, cool.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husband’s joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husband’s schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think I’ll be screwed by you for more of that, you’re out of your mind."
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
Yo mama's so stupid, when I told her that she lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
