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Mind jokes

My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"

I told him, "Probably a bullet."

I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.

I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.

What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!

I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."

Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.

What?

The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*

Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?

Well, probably their kneecaps.

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    • "Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

    "YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

    Guy: Are you tired?

    His “Crush”: No.

    Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

    His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

    Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

    Me: Wanna hear a joke?

    Person: Sure.

    Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.

    Person: Dear God...