What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
What is a gay person’s favorite book?
The dictionary.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.
"Beast Boy Four"
If you're born deaf, what language would you think in?
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.
Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.
What is the last thing that goes through a suicide bomber's mind?
His arse.
Your forehead is so big, you look like Megamind but with no superpower, just a big forehead!
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
What's overcrowded and uncomfortable?
My mind.
Everyone's had a mind-blowing day before, just ask JFK.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
