What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
De-calf-inated.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
"It's pasture bed time."
What goes Snap, Crackle, and Pop?
A neck.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
moo.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To finally get his milk.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
