Menu jokes
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Pizza Hut.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."