Menu jokes

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

The deaf man said to the waiter:

"Mmmm."

The waiter said, "No English."

Then the deaf man signed, "F U."

A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

Pizza Hut.

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?

Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?

A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"

What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?

Two large planes.

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?

The orphanage.

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

A priest walks into a bar, immediately orders the kids' menu.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."