Menu jokes
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Pizza Hut.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?
There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright