Menu Jokes

I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.

Because obviously she doesn’t listen

A sandwich walks into a bar

Bartender says sorry we don't serve food here

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "when i cook i make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

Waiter: can I have your order? Me: no it’s mine!

What is michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? Children's menu

A couple enters a Chinese restaurant. Took their seats. The waiter asked ‘Xiang Chi Shen Ma’ and the wife said ‘Chi Ji Ba’

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar... "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!

Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant? It was family friendly

A dolphin swims into a bar, and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.

What is jefree dhamers favorite restaurant?

Five guys

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

One day 2 Chinese with broken English go to America. When they arrive they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu they see "hot dog" but since there English is bad, they think its literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back there both surprised and one of them ask "What part of the dog did you get."

I love going g to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

the deaf man said to the waiter. mmmm the waiter said no english than the deaf man signed' f u'

Did you hear about the new Chinese food? It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

A blind man went to a restaurant.

menu sir? asked the owner. I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order. The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork, and returned to the blind man. The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables. Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!