Men jokes
What do you call an Irish man that breaks up fights?
Liam Malone.
Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"
Medusa makes men hard.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.
Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
Why do heterosexual men and women that are married in France only perform anilingus on each other in their bedrooms?
Anal sex and oral sex is against the law in France.
शाला टाइटैनिक को भी यमलोक जाना पड़ा। हम तो आदमी है।
Shala, even Titanic had to go to Yamlok. We are just men.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
Three men were captured by a tribe and tortured. The leader of the tribe tells them that they would live only if they could achieve one thing: They had to go out and find 10 pieces of the same fruit each.
The first person returned with apples. The leader said that he had to put all 10 of them up into his ass without making a sound, or he would be killed. 1... 2... he screamed.
The next person came back with grapes. 1, 2, 3, he counted up to 8, but began to burst out laughing; he was killed. In heaven, the first man asked him why he laughed if he was doing so well. "Well, I saw the third guy coming back with fucking pineapples!"
Why don't feminists like to eat hotdogs? Because they remind them of men's dicks.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
What’s a Cannibal’s Favorite Food?
Ra-men.
What does your mum have in common with your dad?
They are both men.